My resolution. My revelation.

I have made a few decisions tonight. This is not easy to write or will it be easy to do. I hope this isn't easy to read either.

I am going to try and block out my own problems. All of my problems are superficial and lame. Angst and hormones control my life far too much. I feel far too often that my life sucks and that I am being punished or some such nonsense. I feel that God put me in a stress filled home that few others can relate too. My family has challenges that few other families have to deal with. This causes a lot of pressure on me. However, the way I see it is that I have been placed in a position to help others. My experiences with my family and the various other troubles in my life have given me a wonderful ability. When I say to someone that I understand what they are going through, I really mean it. Now of course I am no psychiatrist but perhaps that is what I am supposed to be or what I am supposed to work on. It is sometimes said that psychiatrists are the best at helping others because of how screwed up their own lives are. I quite thoroughly agree with that sentiment. So that is my little blurb for the evening. I am giving up on my problems and moving on to others.

Another thing that I have made my mind up on is to stop judging people. I understand that this is not an endeavor taken overnight. I need to look at other people and see living, breathing human beings who deserve my love as much as the next person. I foresee some tough times ahead in this area of my life, but I will see it to the end.

I recently told someone that nothing they could say would drive me away. Not only am I going to stand strong on that statement, but I am going to extend it to everyone I meet. My goal for the next year and forevermore is to always act kind to those who act kind to those I love. I can care less about how people act towards me, but I will never again accept someone who hurts a friend of mine.

I have written some heavy things this evening. The reason I have written these things on my blog is because I want for all you who read this to hold me accountable. This is a huge thing for me. I am very judgmental. I have a tough time with my weak problems. I am not good at staying kind to those who try to hurt me. The entire time I have been writing this post I have been wondering if I should actually post it. In posting this message I am taking on a huge responsibility. Even now I am hesitant to put this up.

This is my revelation, my breaking from the mold.