I don't like having cold feet.

I wonder if you remember a post that I posted many moons ago. About all of my completely rational fears. Bug sized cars and what not.

Tonight, betwixt normal thoughts, I seem to be fretting again.

Except this time they don't seem to be nearly as amusing. This eve, I seem to be pondering the things I actually do fear.

This isn't to say that my true fears aren't preposterous too, they're just more... threatening to me. I don't know, don't make me explain this portion further, I'm just trying to entertain you a little.

There is a little more prefix to go through before you get to the fear part. Sit tight.

I have found that lots of people, my friends, and people I really don't know but stalk via the internet, enjoy letting others know the things that make them happy. In theory, very entertaining, especially when the things that make you happy are silly or are easy to relate to. I don't doubt that one day very shortly I will sit down and type out many of the things that I find bring me some small deal of pleasure in this world. I just keep freaking out that the list is going to be tiny and I'm going to realize that nothing makes me happy and that I actually hate life. Then I'm going to have to start wearing dark makeup and writing even more awful poetry.

Good segue, hey?

So yeah, I worry about suddenly realizing that I don't like anything. Hasn't happened yet.

I worry consistently about bothering other people with my problems. Like, if I'm telling someone about how I'm upset about this thing or the other, that I'm simply boring them with my drivel. I very recently was talking to a dear friend about things that were causing me a great deal of distress at the time. Early morning, you know who you are. Despite all the evidence to the contrary, I couldn't help but spend the entire conversation worrying that I was driving them mad with my pathetic problems. This is rather the ironic fear, as I am definitely one of those people who is willing to listen to anyones troubles, no matter who, about no matter what.

I worry that I'm going to alienate someone I care for with some off hand comment. The wrong thing said at the wrong time. I don't think I've managed to do this yet, but I do believe that's why it's a fear, yeah?

I worry that I'm never going to find something that I am legitimately good at.

Balding. Explains itself, thank you.

I worry about being single forever, or even worse, jumping into a foolish relationship simply out of desperation.

I worry that I'm going to be stuck here forever. Acting out the motions of life, working, eating, and sleeping. What a dreadful thing, that we have such a magnificent world, and yet people are unwilling to explore it.

A few of many.

Complex creatures we are, so capable of fear. It's good to remember how we are equally capable of hope, and through hope, action, and through action, life. Regardless of the fears that try to cripple us.